I am too young to teach how to love yourself but I am trying here. Valentine’s Day is celebrated as a tribute to our love for our significant others but can you truly love someone before accepting and loving yourself?
I don’t think so.
Love is nothing but a deep sense of appreciation and that’s what you should have for yourself. Every morning just spending a few moments in bed and appreciating what has been given to you makes you feel more comfortable and positive. In today’s times when we are surrounded by social media, and various other forms of socialization tools, we have started to identity ourselves with a false sense and image of ‘love’.
When we go on Instagram we see these pictures of an extremely beautiful girl staring at the sunset with her extremely good looking partner and they both are wearing these really expensive clothes and the whole scenery is basically perfect. And you start to feel this yearning in your heart to have what the picture has. You start to count the ‘lacks’ of your life and it is just very sad.
I know this because I have been in your position exactly.
Socialization tools whether Instagram or your parents’ play a role in creating validation criterion for your happiness. You fulfill the criteria and you think you are happy but most often you are not because you are doing what makes them happy and not yourself.
You need to identify what makes you happy or what makes you love yourself.
And the first step to this is to have a deep sense of respect for you, your body and your mind. You need to start pondering over what makes you feel like a King and what makes you feel like a pauper. Focus on your ‘Kingly’ qualities and be thankful and grateful for having them.
The next step is to confronting things or circumstances that are making you feel depressed and making you feel bad for yourself. Let’s take an example here, I am unemployed and broke. I was not performing as well as I was a few years back. When 2018 started I promised myself that I wouldn’t be this ‘self-hating’ or ‘self-pitying’ person anymore and that I would get my life together.
But how do you get your life together?
The key is to start doing.
And by doing I mean just moving.
I started to go for walks in the park and I started to listen to these affirmation videos on YouTube to get me into a positive sphere of mind. It was difficult because in the beginning I was contradicting everything positive but soon I started to accept them and embrace them. The idea for starting my blog came just a day later and I got accepted into a prestigious internship program just a week later. So you see how things start to work out when you start to respect yourself.
And respecting your body is actually the easiest way to start loving yourself. By this I don’t mean I want you to get on a treadmill or join a boot camp (I mean you can if you want to) it’s just that you need to start moving and getting your body into action. You can do this by going for long early morning walks or by joining a boot camp.
Moving keeps your mind sharp and energetic.
The next step is to design your own criteria for happiness and focus on that instead of winning other people’s approvals. Designing a criterion is like a self-discovery and it is a glorious journey. You interact and you introspect and you arrive on conclusions on what works for you and what does not. Designing your criteria might take some time but it will be one of the best investments you’ve ever made.
And finally the last step is to start taking actions to make that criterion a reality. You are now working hard on yourself, you are changing in a holistic manner and you love that change. You are pushing your boundaries; you are discovering new things about yourself and you are taking steps to unravel this beautiful you!
Let me warn you here, it is not going to be easy. There will be times when you would simply be like ‘this is bullshit’ or you would probably lose patience. But the key here is to know and to believe that your criterion will succeed and that you WILL be happy. Don’t let negativity ruin your hard work and don’t let other people’s criterion scare and question yours. Just know that it will make you the happiest person in the world. And being happy with yourself equates to loving and appreciating yourself.
When life is throwing a curve ball at you, it is not because ‘life is not fair with me’. It is because life is testing you and pushing you to your best possible self that fails but learns from the failures and in the process becomes an example of success.
Every morning when you wake up, it doesn’t matter how much of a precarious and difficult situation you are in, just count all things good and beautiful in your life and feel blessed about it. Smile and be kind, throw a curve ball to the life and just relax.
So on this Valentine’s Day be happy, give yourself a rose and say ‘I love me’.